MeeAugraphie

Before you read: All words and images on this page (and this blog) are protected by owner copyrights, if other than mine, I have obtained permission and given credit to the author.

This is the movement of thought along a path of poems. It started with my excitement at finding the “perfect” line in the midst of a poem, Pillows, written by Chris Sapp on his 2007 blog, Tears Shed on Paper, ClockworkChris Returns. (Note, Chris, unfortunately for us, his readers, no longer has his blog published openly.)

With his permission, I used his mesmerizing line as the first line of my poem, Prayers Unheard?, and when Poetry Thursday prompted us to use the last line from a poem previously written as the first line of a new poem, I chose immediately the last line of the latter, to continue the thread.
I am going to continue the process, and continue that thread of letting one line tumble from one poem to another; the last line of the second poem into the first of the third and so on, until I bore of it, which may be never….

They will be posted as regular entries on my blog, but will also be listed in chronological order here. Check back often to see where I have taken that initial line.

I begin this journey by including (with permission, of course) Chris Sapp’s poem, originally posted on his blog on June 19, 2007, but remember, our words are copyrighted, thank you:

Pillows

Sick of the blue skies
And blankets of darkness
No pinholes in the night
And the lack
Of fluffy pillows in the day
Every moment
Filled as if it may pour down
An angels suffocating tear
Whispering grand wind currents
Hail, ice, rain
In every direction
More invisible moons
With clear beaming suns
Cherubs long for sleep
In full clouds

Please, do not copy his words, they are his words to share, not mine. Thank you. But isn’t it an awesome poem!

This is where his line took me….

1. Prayers Unheard?

An angel’s suffocating tear
shed because you did not hear
the words whispered in the breeze
as you got up from bended knees:

Who will brush back your hair
or absorb the quiet words you bare
when you helmet one and choke the other
to turn your back to yet another?

An angel’s suffocating tear
shed because you did not hear
the words whispered in the breeze
as you got up from bended knees

MeeAugraphie
06/20/07

2. A Dad’s Memory

As you got up from bended knees
white clover in your hair,
we tightly grasped his tiny hands
counted up to three
then swung him up to meet the sky,
and squealed with him in glee…
it was there we celebrated
one and one is three.

MeeAugraphie
08/21/07

3. The Offspring

one and one are three
when one and one become one
and bring into the world another

one, and so,

three become one

family

will they blossom into more
than the sum of their total,
whether looked upon as one
or three?

or become weighed down
by inner thoughts,
by words spouted

that become
weeds sprouted

that become
entangled to choke
the upward growth

and pull the weakened branches
down, until they

split?

And are further seeds sown
close to home,
close to their roots

or

scattered
across barren lands?

And, if the latter,
will those seeds become the strong
that only survive?

Or the weak that flounder and
wilt in the face of its environment?

MeeAugraphie
08/27/07

4. Not me!

Wilt in the face of its environment?
Not that mighty tree!
Not a human like me!

Shrivel in the face of heated words?
Not that mighty man!
Not little old me!

Cower behind locked doors?
Not cowboys or Indians!
Not the fighter I could be!

Hide behind a mommy’s skirt?
Not that blossoming young girl!
Not the me I have become!

Step beneath a father’s shadow?
Not that brave young boy!
Not the fighter inside me!

Lie behind a token smile?
Not the man who always frowns!
Not the me who’s caught off guard!

Shake in my boots as dawn approaches?
Not the sun who rises to light our day!
Not the me who embraces the day!

MeeAugraphie
08/29/07

5. Happiness is mine

Not the me who embraces the day!
Surely you don’t expect moroseness
or a determined refusal to play –

’cause if you do, you would be wrong
and lose the bet and all your money –
my heart would refuse to play along

it knows happiness to be self-made –
not given by others just on a whim
but created by mind’s intentions laid.

MeeAugraphie
09/05/07

6. Intent merged

but created by mind’s intentions laid,
intent merged with dream
to become reality
of not one, but two

hesitant steps bowed
as they moved to the sidelines
to protect the two from the spite
of jealous eyes

true friends wore brilliant smiles
to light their chosen path
should thunder herald dark clouds
to hide their goal in darkness

but created by mind’s intentions laid,
intent merged with dream
to become reality
of not one, but two.

MeeAugraphie
09/10/07

7. Of Not One

of not one, but two
parents he came

of not two, but many
gene pools he came

of not one, but many
activities he was molded

of not one, but many
ideas he was exposed

of not one, but one
who knows his mind.

MeeAugraphie
09/17/07

8. His Mind

Who knows his mind
better than he knows his own?

Is it the wife who stood arm
in arm for thirty plus years?
the child who learned from him
both bravery and fear?
the mother who raised him
in the ways of the world?

or his own scarred heart
that warred with his mind
and won?

MeeAugraphie
09/22/07

9. Perhaps

and won?
he lied and won?
I played fair and lost?

why do I sit surprised?
why do I stand dejected?
why do I turn and walk away?

why do I repeat this process
when it is in my control
to change it?

is it because I understand how much
he needs to win
and I am the bigger person?
or is it because I know that winning
dishonestly will erode his self-esteem
and I delight in the harm I will have assisted in?

Perhaps, it is that I have not the patience to fight.
Perhaps, it is that I did not feel I deserved to win.
Perhaps, it was all of this or none.

MeeAugraphie
10/03/07

10. Evolution of man

Perhaps, it was all of this or none.
Would one alternative
outweigh conscious thought?
Would one grin
undermine hardened walls
built within?
Would one false word
negate all truth
that came before?
Would one outstretched hand
trip rather than lift?
Would one misstep
change future movement?
Would each of these
displace the other?
Perhaps.
Perhaps not.

MeeAugraphie
10/23/07

11. Corners Turned

turned its corners up,
he did
just like Mom once taught him

fold the long sides in,
fold the short sides in
lift each corner
squish the foil together

there! a little tray
for his fish sticks
just like Mom once taught him

there were no fish sticks
they must have left with Mom.

MeeAugraphie
11/07/07

12. Aftermath of an Accident

They must have left with Mom,
his sisters, he meant,
though he really didn’t know
what a sister was
he only knew he would be
a big brother
and they would be
his little sisters
and look like
the baby next door
with wrinkled skin
(like his dog)
and teeny fists
and tinier toes,
but now their cribs
were gone,
and so was Mom
and so was her red car
and all these people
were patting his head,
his shoulder,
and now Daddy was hugging
him too hard
and he pulled away
and Daddy,
well, you know.

MeeAugraphie
11/09/07

13. Of Friends and Enemies

Well, you know
how it is
when friends
are too busy
to be friends
and enemies
are falling over themselves
to slip in
the door opened
by loneliness

your mind becomes
cluttered with
should have
could have
would have,

but, what if
we just enjoy
our enemies
while their
masks are still intact?

After all,
aren’t a few days of smiles
better than none?

And, what if
enemies grew into their mask?

MeeAugraphie
11/21/07

14. Good or Evil – Simple?

Enemies grew into their mask?
Was it as simple as that?

One person, once enemy,
became friend:
wearing that mask
required filling the shoes
of he who was replaced;
positive growth to match
the filled heart it portrayed.

One person, once friend,
became enemy
wearing that mask
required filling the shoes
of he who was replaced;
negative growth to match
the hollowed heart it portrayed.

What if it were that simple?
Would we start with the boots or mask?

MeeAugraphie
11/24/07

15. Unmasked

Would we start with the boots or mask?
If you can’t decide
I’ll vote for rope
coiled at your side

and silver spurs
on boots of polished leather.

And once unmasked,

you’ll be the handsomest
cowboy

in
second grade.

MeeAugraphie
02/08/08

16. Second Grade

second grade
less than first
less than prime

was that to be his destiny?

merely almost?

that might have worked
had he become
a professional horseshoe player
rather than a stock car racer.

MeeAugraphie
02/08/08

17. Could Have

rather than a stock car racer
he wanted to be
a writer

“knock knock
who’s there?
Someone.
Someone who?
Someone I didn’t mean to become….”

why didn’t he just write a new ending?

MeeAugraphie
02/10/08

18. Quest for Truth

Why didn’t he just write a new ending?
We surely wish to know,
and wish it will have to be
for the knowledge of his truth
will remain buried within him
as surely as guesses are like
opinions (or the other),
we all will have them,
although we may use them
for unintended purposes.

Of course, thought may someday
be accessible by machine,
but if the thinker fails to
acknowledge his own truth,
machines will be useless;
I beg to continue this guessing game….

MeeAugraphie
02/23/08

19. The Guessing Game

I beg to continue this guessing game…
Not tonight?

I beg to continue this guessing game…
Last week?

I beg to continue this guessing game…
Perhaps, last summer?

I beg to continue this guessing game…
Eternity, that’s it, surely, sir!

I beg to continue this guessing game…
If only I knew why you thrust it upon me.

MeeAugraphie
03/03/08

20. If Only I Knew

If only I knew why you thrust it upon me
I would…
No! I cannot lie
(well, I could and would had I the time to think)

If only I knew why you thrust it upon me
I could, perhaps, conscience willing,
take it upon myself to try
(though half heartedly, at the most)

There you have it, the truth, though
cloaked in the parenthical.

Perhaps, you will choose to see only that
which is concrete.

MeeAugraphie
03/03/08

21. Concrete to Shatter

which is concrete?
your heart or your mind?

I must know with no further delay,

for if it is your heart
I shall hammer away at it
with flowers and chocolates and words
meant to caress your skin

for if it is your mind
I shall first pound it
with strong waves of words
meant to smash your barrier

and then allow my words to lap gently
at the fringes of your soul

MeeAugraphie
05/04/08

22. At the Fringes of Your Soul

At the fringes of your soul,
hate exists
I know not how it found you
nor why
permission was given to stay

Such mysteries threaten to bury
me in useless thought
and relentless frustration

I speak of this in warning
hate exists
at the fringes of your soul
where it readies
to do battle with love

Sneak attacks are not unknown
though master plans abound
to build hate cell by cell,
each made stronger by apathy

I implore you fight back
hate exists
at the fringes of your soul

such mysteries threaten to bury

us – all.

MeeAugraphie
05/04/08

23. Of Them

us – all
you – all
them – all
I – one

it matters not which
for either way, I am one -

one of us or you
but not of them

though to them,
I am just one of them.

MeeAugraphie
05/04/08

24. Human

I am just one of them.

not better about this
not worse about that
but
better about something
worse about other

I am just one of them,
that makes me human.

MeeAugraphie
05/11/08

25. Perhaps

That makes me human
but is it enough?

In your eyes,
I venture a guess,
the answer is no.

Perhaps,
it is a matter of
miscommunication

Perhaps,
you sought a god
or a siren
but labeled it human

or perhaps
your unconscious
deems you fail

at relationships of the human kind.

MeeAugraphie
05/11/08

26. The Key

At relationships of the human kind
we sometimes scoff
or throw our hands up

not needed
too much effort unrewarded
no time
why bother?

until the day
we are needed
and appreciated
and wanted

and found
by another human being

our books, computers, hobbies, studies
take a back seat from their place at our side

our dogs, cats, fish, and birds
hear stories told in a different voice

one that comes from
an unlocked heart.

MeeAugraphie
05/20/08

27. Love Approaches

an unlocked heart
beckons love to its inner sanctum

but mind

could

still interfere

for reason voices its opinions,
formed long ago
now fed by worry

and others

and so, it is time to stand
tiptoes at precipice

Swan dive out of danger
with grace,
if you must

cartwheel headlong into love
with joy
if you dare

mind will adjust in time.

MeeAugraphie
05/30/08

28. Assumptions

mind will adjust in time

assumes I still have one,
assumes I will permit
such a momentous task
by allowing the circuit
to complete
once permission is granted
for synapses to fire –
for I could still
intercept their receipt

mind will adjust in time

assumes it is my desire
and that decision

is still unclear.

MeeAugraphie
06/10/08

29. Unconsidered

Is still unclear,
my most private thought,
but, worse yet,
is still unconsidered
by Emotion’s Censor.

How can that be?

We, who are so controlled
by our need to evoke love;

we, who, in spite of intention, either
remain unseen,
invoke hate,
find our need met;

we, who, without conscious effort,
find our thoughts
processed, considered,
examined, compared,
and then tossed aside
as they are blinded by
perceived promise:

how can that be,
I, as one of we,
can have a thought
as yet unconsidered
by Emotion’s Censor?

MeeAugraphie
06/18/08

30. Incomprehensible Thought

By Emotion’s Censor?
You dare to say thus you are ruled?

How can that be?
You, who speaks only with words born of logic?
You, who thinks only thoughts deemed safe to think?
You, who hears only words based on intellect?
You, who reaches only for proven territory?

What need have you to censor emotions
when as yet you have experienced none?

MeeAugraphie
07/14/08

31. Lust Fulfillment Sought

When as yet you have experienced none
your mind dares to seek them out
it plots with elaborate grandeur
it plods when bravery hides
then your feet run headlong without regard
to expanding girth or flopping tails
and, barring Mr. Murphy’s well-timed appearance,
your fingers reach out to exchange
coins for two dozen donuts
and a four inch cinnamon bun.

MeeAugraphie
07/14/08

32. Seduction

And a four inch cinnamon bun,
he added his grin not quite contained and an apple strudel she asked and once again his stomach was led and of course as all good followers do it invoked his reply of and an apple strudel and once again she responded even before her latexed hands left the case and a bite sized cream cheese pie with a strawberry encased in chocolate and this time his heart jumped in and responded oh yes please although my love will take three bites for that rather than one as she is a lady and with that one latexed hand ripped off the other glove and said six dollars please and she struggled within to keep from throwing the white box with each carefully placed seduction in the face of the one man she had failed to lead by his stomach. Her change of attitude confused and he mumbled with some concern have a nice day but his words were cut off as her eyes caught the eyes of the next in line and she said with a lilt to her voice
buns today for you?

MeeAugraphie
07/14/08

33. Replacement Love

buns today for you?
perhaps, a loaf of rye or white?

no?
perhaps, whole wheat or sourdough?

no?
I see, a snickerdoodle, it will be.

I’ve had days like yours, you see,
when starved for love…
I, too, turned for food.

I, however, took it to extreme,
surrounded myself with cookies and cakes
and had to build a home for us

yes, I traded my husband for a bakery.

I’m surrounded by love every day…

just not the love I’d planned.

MeeAugraphie
11/19/08

34. Love’s Cadence

“Just not the love I’d planned,”
spoke his lips,

“Just not the love I’d dreamed,”
spoke her eyes,

but had you heard their hearts
marching in cadence,

you would have known their truth
and not your own.

MeeAugraphie
12/02/08

35. Held

and not your own
and not his own
nor hers
nor theirs
nor mine

but only our collective needs
are acknowledged
are deemed worthy
are fought for
by those who can

individuality has lost its hold.

MeeAugraphie
12/02/08

36. Pay the Piper

individuality has lost its hold
on the masses
for the holidays have begun

Be like me
Be like me
Buy me
You know you want to
Everyone else has one.

Keeping up, they excuse themselves,
with the Joneses,
though in reality
they keep up with anyone…

with anyone who has
the latest
the greatest
the best
the most coveted
the most scarce
the most overpriced, perhaps?

They forget to see
what they really wanted
and forget to find
what they really needed
and forget the piper must be paid
and pretenses must be kept up
or truth admitted
sooner than planned…

you know, as in never.

MeeAugraphie
12/04/08

37. Unreliable Witness

“you know, as in never
go away?

You did solemnly swear
you would never leave…”

“Aye,” he responded
to her protector,
“those words I spoke
out loud and from my heart;
but my eyes forewarned
of the whisper that came
before we sealed our vows
with a kiss of infinity future,

… unless new evidence presents itself.”

MeeAugraphie
01/10/09

38. Evidenced Life

unless new evidence presents itself…
the path I’ve chosen, I’ll follow

unless new evidence presents itself…
the past will remain best choices made

unless new evidence presents itself…
today I will just be who I think I am

MeeAugraphie
01/10/08

39. Me

today I will just be who I think I am
because tomorrow I may find…

I am someone else

and if that proved true I would have missed the opportunity
to be someone else merely by not being who I think I am today

I walked in your shoes yesterday in my dreams

and though I walked quite well in yours
they were merely the ones you saved for show…

not the ones you wore to get where you were

today I will just be who I think I am
because tonight I may dream the future me

MeeAugraphie
01/11/09

40. Because Tonight

because, tonight I may dream the future me,

I must retire at sunset
eyes fluttering closed as the last colors of day
pale to a mere flush

I must have windows cast open wide
ears destined to hear crickets’ chatter broken by shouts
of bullfrog’s swollen demands

I must have covers at ready,
skin anxious for the fleeting touch of winter’s caress
even as it prepares for sheltering in down’s warmth

yes, tonight I may dream the future me:

I must have heart open and unprotected
to accept Muse’s brilliance in design
of my life’s still unconscious path

I must have mind in quiet repose
gathering strength
to accept the inevitable climb….

and, because tonight I may dream the future me,

I must be alone, protected from
your heated envelope, as it would pull me
from distant dreams’ implored requests.

MeeAugraphie
01/14/09

41. Life Courses of Three

from distant dreams’ implored requests
or intuition’s constant nagging,
some run

one heads toward the past
one beeline’s to mimic another’s future

one risks stagnation
one risks being other than self

but another risks becoming more than anyone imagined they could be
as she remembers the past, plans the future,
but allows herself to change course without notice.

MeeAugraphie
02/16/09

42.Road Course

“but allows herself to change course — without notice”
is not a straight line to success

for it confuses those around her
who no longer second-guess results

for effort is thrown as curve balls,
perhaps, meant to be uncaught

for projects started collect dust
to become but dreams unkempt

fact is now conjecture
as definite shouts with hollow ring

yet, results unexpected are life surprises

yet, effort wasted is still calories burned

yet, projects undone are another’s treasure trove

and melancholy is shoved aside
and boredom is stopped in its tracks

and stagnant is broken
as any road taken is movement.

MeeAugraphie
02/17/09

43. May, Reality Seem

as any road taken is movement
her choice to live or not
is not limited to one or the other
for she could take no roads
and remain stagnant
though still alive

and that may, reality seem

but even as one card flips
to reveal another
that will not play

day after day

her mind moves forward to try again
to beat the odds
and though that road is not yours
and her movement miniscule,
it is movement forward

and stagnant is not

and that, too, may, reality seem.

MeeAugraphie
02/17/09

44. Reality?

and that, too, may, reality seem
or, perhaps, may, reality be

such words are heady thoughts
… for a blonde

who giggles over nothing (not when others do)
who tosses her long hair (unconsciously – never for effect)
who speaks with her eyes (when flirting)
who walks like a duck (on a whim, of course)
who sits attentively (but allows her mind to race past your words)
who stows emotions when words need be understood (cold, they say)
who goes from high to low and back (without hesitation)

and that too, may, reality seem
or, perhaps, may, reality be

only her hairdresser knows for sure

MeeAugraphie
01/17/09

45. Only

Only her hairdresser knows for sure
only her husband has no clue
only her mother cloaks her faults
only her sister took her dreams
only her neighbor stole her youth
only her daughter walked in her shoes

if only she had not.

MeeAugraphie
02/18/09

46. If Only

if only she had not
revisited her past
her present would seem right
her future would be bright

if only she had not
revisited her past
she would be here now.

MeeAugraphie
02/24/09 >

47. Victory of Persistence

she would be here now
had he let her unlock heart’s door
but he chose to slap her hand away
each time it turned the key

496 times in twelve years
her growing fingers
flailed
reached
groped
stroked
twisted
tricked
manipulated…
but he chose to slap her hand away
each time it turned the key

And so, as normal,
persistence won,
and he no longer slapped her hand away

497.never.came.

MeeAugraphie
02/24/09